All quotes are from girls, unless otherwise noted.
2 y.o.: *knock knock*
3 y.o.: “Who is it?”
2 y.o.: “Death!” (not sure what she was trying to say)
a rabbi's daughter, 3 y.o.: “eeny meeny meiny mo, catch a bible by the toe”
3 y.o.: “Hashem’s house is pink with strawberries on it.”
me: “That’s an example of someone trying to be funny and failing.”
3rd grader: “And it’s not me for once!”
3rd grade boy, running out of the room on last day of Hebrew school: “I’m never coming back!”
3 y.o. boy: “I’m gonna buy all this.”
me: “How much does it cost?”
3 y.o. boy: “One hour.”
4 y.o. #1: “You got to be the mom a jillion hundred times!”
4 y.o. #2: “That’s not even a number.”
4 y.o. #1: “AHHH!!!!!”
4 y.o.: “Pink is my favorite color in the history of the world.”
4 y.o.: “She’s walking away without her baby. That’s not, like, safe.” - doll. baby DOLL.
me: “You have to go so bad?”
3 y.o.: “No, BADLY.”
3 y.o.: “Look what I got from my nose.”
3 y.o.: “I only have this much chips because it’s a bummer.”
3 y.o.: “Today I’m going to West Portal in a cage to go to the zoo in Africa. I’m going to Africa.”
5 y.o.: “I speak Ebrew because I go to Israel every ear.”
5 y.o.: “It looks like the T Jesus was on.”
2 y.o. boy: “Bubbe has to feed grandpa.”
2 y.o. boy on top of the structure addressing two girls: “I’m pooping!”
3 y.o. boy: “I’m old!”
3 y.o. boy: “I’m not Jewish, I live in Burlingame.”
3 y.o.: “I’m much older than all of you.”
3 y.o.: “She’s only 2. She doesn’t know everything. Only I know everything.”
3 y.o. #1: “What’s inside here?” (teapot)
me: “Probably just air.”
3 y.o. #2: “No, there’s puffing.”
me: “Puffins, like the cereal?”
3 y.o. #2: “No, PUFFING, like what’s in HERE.” (stuffed animal)
me: “Stuffing?”
3 y.o. #2: “Yeah, stuffing!”
3 y.o.: “I one time had a boo boo but I don’t know where it is… it’s in my house.”
3 y.o.: “I wanna show everyone my pimples.”
4 y.o.: “I’m only going to look at you if you stop talking while you’re eating.”
3 y.o.: “Rebecca my favorite friend… and Ariel, too.” (she's referring to Ariel the Disney mermaid)
3 y.o. offended that I had the same favorite princess as her babysitter: “Who your favorite princess? … Belle? Tara love… You love Poccahontas!”
3 y.o.: “I have poof hair.”
3 y.o.: “Dora Splisplora!”
3 y.o.: “Uh-oh, I made a ‘steak!”
3 y.o. #1 asks 3 y.o. #2, who was “showering” in the closet: “How was your shower?”
3 y.o. #2: “Great!”
3 y.o.: “I don’t want Rebecca to eat my blanket.”
me: “I don’t think she will. Does she usually eat your blanket?”
3 y.o.: “No, only me.” She was either trying to say that either she only eats her blanket, or Rebecca only eats her, which she did try to do once.
3 y.o. immediately upon arriving in the morning: “I burped in my dad’s car.”
4 y.o.: “This is ‘I love you, Garbage.'” reading a tattoo that said "I <3 Recycling"
4 y.o.: *forced laugh* “That’s my freaky raff.”
4 y.o.: “Where is HaShem? Can we talk to HaShem?”
a very responsible 4 y.o.: “I’m a set up the chairs because you’re busy doing snack.”
4 y.o.: “I don’t know what he’s talking about. My dad’s kind of…”
4 y.o.: *wrapping hair around chin* “Fear the beard!”
4 y.o.: “I need to taste these. That’s why I’m taking a nipple.”
4 y.o.:“Where’s your DROID?”
4 y.o.: “Look at my killing truck!.. Actually, look at my baby station.”
4 y.o.: “Throw your guns at the shark!”
