When Boys Don't Call (or 10 Easy Steps to Not Getting Laid)

So boys do this thing sometimes, where they really piss you off, but they then seem oblivious to the fact that they've pissed you off, which is even more pissy-offy. One thing in particular that they do to thwart their own chances of getting laid is not calling when they say they will. It goes like this:
1) boy: "I'll call you tonight."
2) girl pretends to not be waiting for call
3) girl wastes hella time totally not waiting for a phone call
4) girl starts to wonder if:
.....a) he forgot to call because he isn't thinking about her, because she isn't worth thinking about because she's smelly and has the sex appeal of a molting toucan
.....b) he's been involved in some horrible accident
.....c) he's cheating on her
5) girl gives up all hope and quells her emotions with Girl Scout cookies
6) one day or later, the girl casually brings up to the boy that he didn't call when he said he would
7) guys says that:
.....a) he fell asleep
.....b) his cell phone died
.....c) he had dinner with him mom and then got caught up watching The Notebook with her
8) girl can't be mad at him for that
9) girl is still kind of mad he didn't at least have the courtesy to text her that he'd call at another time, since she would've done that for him
10) NO SEX

Fellas, next time you say you're going to call a lady friend, fucking grow a pair and do it. And if you don't intend to call her, just say "Text me later, ok?" Then you can be like "hey I'm super busy ttyl." Girls WANT to forgive you for things like this, but you have to actually realize you did something shitty first. Even if you don't feel bad for not calling because you got drunk and spent the night flirting with your best friend's little sister, if you act sorry you might still get laid.

924 Gilman St

924 Gilman Street (also known as The Gilman Street Project or simply The Gilman) is an all-ages, community-run venue and community center in Berkeley, CA, which opened its doors in 1986. Bands such as Operation Ivy, Rancid, AFI, and Green Day began their careers there.

1. I moved a few blocks away from The Gilman in 1995, when I was 9 years old. I used to get off the bus across the street from it, and there were always hooligans in tattered black clothes outside. However, they posed much less of a threat than the booze-hounds laying across the sidewalk after drowning their livers at Pyramid Brewery, which opened a few years later. Mood: cautious

2. I began going to local concerts in 2002, mostly at the now-defunct iMusicast in north Oakland. I literally went to hundreds of shows without going to The Gilman. I thought the punks would beat me up for not being punk enough. Mood: fear

3. By age 20, I was too old to go to The Gilman, even if I had wanted to. On the bright side, I figured an old geezer like myself was safe from assault. Mood: old

4. In May 2010, The Phenomenauts were playing a show at The Gilman. I went. I got a membership card on which I pledged: no drinking, no drugs, no violence. It cost $2. The walls were black and covered in graffiti. Besides band members and parents, I was probably one of the 5 oldest people there. (And if you've been doing the math, that means I was 24.) There was a kid in a studded denim vest who looked to be about 8. It made me want to be an elementary school teacher. I took my earplugs out for 3 songs and my ears rang for 3 days. I went to my parents' house when I had to pee. Mood: love

a Pinkerton cover concert and MIA libidos

There was a period of time when I had many ideas to blog about. But I didn't get to all of them, and some of them are outdated. For instance, for a quite a while I had two essays about the L3 scene on the tips of my fingers. But that ended 5 years ago, and I just can't be bothered to contact all those random people to do the research. Sorry, world, for depriving you of that. And I thought I surely would get around to writing about the Matches last show, which was both incredible and emotional. But, again, I just can't be bothered to tap into that right now.

A few days after the Matches last show--August 27, 2009, to be exact-- a few assorted band boys got together to play Weezer's Pinkerton album. I don't care for Weezer, but all my friends were going, and it was to be a sign that the L3 community could still come together even though the Matches were history. I stood in the front row for a full hour through my intoxicated friends singing unintelligibly. The only line I understood the whole night was "G-ddamn you half-Japanese girls!" Well-stated, Weezer.

I'd say the highlight of the evening was speaking with a new friend about our libidos. You see, we were both at one point hyper-sexual young ladies. In my high school yearbook I was voted "Most Perverse" and "Most Likely To Get Off In Class." And that was before I streaked across campus! And my fellow concert-goer was getting an MA in Human Sexuality. So presumably we like sexy time, right? Not anymore! We both experienced a sudden loss of libido in our early twenties. I had a few theories about what could have caused it (the Pill, trauma, etc.), but she had no changes that preceded it. We were both able to have just as good orgasms when we got into it, it was just the getting into it that was a problem. And it seemed that there was no information out there on the 'Net. There was info for ladies who can't have orgasms (though not much of it actually helpful), but none for ladies with no sex drive. The fact that there was no information out there was even weirder than the fact that we lost our libidos in the first place. If anyone out there on the Web wants to clue us in as to what the hell happened to our yonis, we'd really love to hear from you!