My first teaching job was as a long term substitute for a teacher on maternity leave. I started at the second semester. I taught 7th and 8th grade English at a public school. Fresh out of my credential program, I had a vision of establishing a classroom culture where all students felt safe and respected, and no one got bullied for being different. Hold on, I need to go check the mail for my "Teacher of the Year" award.
I planned to spend the first day talking about bullying, particularly for LGBT kids and kids with learning disabilities. I didn't get through everything, so my speechifying took 3 days. Is talking to middle schoolers for 3 days a good way to set classroom culture or teach anything? No. It is not.
I talked about how some kids have ADD or ADHD, and also that it's wrong to call each other "retarded" because everyone is different and we should help each other, not put each other down. The kid who actually had ADHD heard "ADHD" and "retarded" and ran out of the room. Crap.
As the semester went on, a group of kids kept calling things they didn't like "gay." Teacher training taught me that you have to enforce your rules, and at this point I was running out of options. So I got creative. I decided that if you continued to misuse "gay" after being warned, you'd have to call a gay person and read them an apology. Some students were up in arms. They asked if the principal had said this was OK. On the spot I said yes, even though I hadn't run this by the administration. Some students went to the principal to ask about this, and I got called into his office at the end of the day. I got scolded. I had to go back to my classes the next day and say that I was so proud of my students because they spoke up against something they didn't like, and I heard them and changed my policy.
I was so embarrassed. My principal thought I was an idealist idiot, and my students thought I was a joke. Some students later came to me and said that they wanted to talk to a gay person. No one was happy with how this turned out.
I was hired back the next year for a temporary position, but they still interviewed others for it. The next year I did not receive another position, and I left feeling like a failure. I knew I'd grown a lot as a teacher, and all teachers make mistakes, but I knew I wasn't yet the teacher I wanted to be. I still feel uncomfortable when I think about my time there. The embarrassment at my futile attempts at teaching for social justice has not yet worn off.
Fast forward four years. I get a Facebook message from a name I recognize from that school, but the gender is wrong. Well, I should say, the gender was wrong, and now it's right. It was a student who is a trans woman, and she said that I was one of her favorite teachers ever! How generous! (Or most of her teachers were worse than me? Yikes.) I was so proud of that student for living her truth, and becoming an outspoken advocate for trans rights. I have no idea what-- if any-- impact my 3-day anti-bullying speech had on any of my students. (Except the one who ran out. Clearly he wasn't a fan.) But I feel a measure of redemption knowing that some trans child felt safe in my class.
I don't generally regret things, and I don't regret that incident, as embarrassing as it was (is). I saw it as an ill-executed attempt at making a safe learning environment for all. Now I see my embarrassment as the price I paid for making a transgender 14 year old feel safe, important, and deserving of respect and protection. I believe that good intentions do not override bad results. But sometimes it takes a while to see the full result of your good intentions. And maybe it's not as bad as you thought.
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Working in Jewish Education
Don't do it.
The more religious it gets, the worse it is. I've worked at summer camps, preschools, and Hebrew Schools, and I can tell you to run the other way.
It seems like the more Jewish it is, the smaller pool they have to hire from, with disastrous results.
It's crazy because I spend most of my time doing Jewish things, hanging out with Jews, reading Jewish books, etc., and yet I can't see myself working in Jewish education much longer. It's great to not have to explain why I can't come in for half of September to my goyishe boss, but I just don't feel it's worth it anymore. In one preschool there were no developmentally appropriate religious materials. The story they had on Purim included the midrash (extrapolated from the text but not spelled out) that when Haman was leading Mordechai on the horse through Shushan, his daughter tried to throw the chamber pot on Mordechai and instead hit her dad, then fell/jumped out after it and died. Why would you tell that to a 3 year old?! Jesus Christ! So not appropriate.
I haven't found anyone who is an expert on early childhood who is religious enough to fit into my community. Even I'm not religious enough. I feel like everyone has unrealistic expectations about what a high quality Orthodox preschool should look like. I guess for them the Orthodox is the most important part.
In elementary school, I never had a religiously observant teacher. Just female Reconstructionist rabbis trying to teach me the laws of Shabbat and Kashrut that I wasn't sure anyone actually did. According to one teacher there, the teachers were never evaluated.
At another local day school, one teacher was told that her checks would be directly deposited into her account. So she wrote a bunch of checks. I'm sure you can figure out the rest of the story.
I worked at one Hebrew School where I had to chase down my paychecks, which were then for the wrong amount. That's like 5 kinds of illegal.
I know one lady who is a Hebrew reading instructor for kindergarteners. No one told her that reading can't be taught to kindergarteners phonics-style. They kind of have to absorb it. And if they don't, that's still normal. If a kid can't read by 8, start being concerned. No one told her how to do this impossible task. In fact, no one told her anything.
I have had good experiences working in Jewish preschools and Hebrew Schools. I know they can function. But when they can't even put their two employees on payroll, it kind of makes me wonder if I'm valued.
I ultimately want to teach high school English, and I can't see myself working at a Jewish school where I never know when or how much I'll be paid, and no one's there to support me professionally.
We all know that all workplaces have their weak points. But at least they can fire people without effectively excommunicate them from their community. And they're not working under the idea that "We're all Jews, so it's cool." No, it's not cool when I don't even get paid properly, and it's not cool when you hire crackheads because they're Jewish.
The more religious it gets, the worse it is. I've worked at summer camps, preschools, and Hebrew Schools, and I can tell you to run the other way.
It seems like the more Jewish it is, the smaller pool they have to hire from, with disastrous results.
It's crazy because I spend most of my time doing Jewish things, hanging out with Jews, reading Jewish books, etc., and yet I can't see myself working in Jewish education much longer. It's great to not have to explain why I can't come in for half of September to my goyishe boss, but I just don't feel it's worth it anymore. In one preschool there were no developmentally appropriate religious materials. The story they had on Purim included the midrash (extrapolated from the text but not spelled out) that when Haman was leading Mordechai on the horse through Shushan, his daughter tried to throw the chamber pot on Mordechai and instead hit her dad, then fell/jumped out after it and died. Why would you tell that to a 3 year old?! Jesus Christ! So not appropriate.
I haven't found anyone who is an expert on early childhood who is religious enough to fit into my community. Even I'm not religious enough. I feel like everyone has unrealistic expectations about what a high quality Orthodox preschool should look like. I guess for them the Orthodox is the most important part.
In elementary school, I never had a religiously observant teacher. Just female Reconstructionist rabbis trying to teach me the laws of Shabbat and Kashrut that I wasn't sure anyone actually did. According to one teacher there, the teachers were never evaluated.
At another local day school, one teacher was told that her checks would be directly deposited into her account. So she wrote a bunch of checks. I'm sure you can figure out the rest of the story.
I worked at one Hebrew School where I had to chase down my paychecks, which were then for the wrong amount. That's like 5 kinds of illegal.
I know one lady who is a Hebrew reading instructor for kindergarteners. No one told her that reading can't be taught to kindergarteners phonics-style. They kind of have to absorb it. And if they don't, that's still normal. If a kid can't read by 8, start being concerned. No one told her how to do this impossible task. In fact, no one told her anything.
I have had good experiences working in Jewish preschools and Hebrew Schools. I know they can function. But when they can't even put their two employees on payroll, it kind of makes me wonder if I'm valued.
I ultimately want to teach high school English, and I can't see myself working at a Jewish school where I never know when or how much I'll be paid, and no one's there to support me professionally.
We all know that all workplaces have their weak points. But at least they can fire people without effectively excommunicate them from their community. And they're not working under the idea that "We're all Jews, so it's cool." No, it's not cool when I don't even get paid properly, and it's not cool when you hire crackheads because they're Jewish.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Qiddie Quotes
All quotes are from girls, unless otherwise noted.
2 y.o.: *knock knock*
3 y.o.: “Who is it?”
2 y.o.: “Death!” (not sure what she was trying to say)
a rabbi's daughter, 3 y.o.: “eeny meeny meiny mo, catch a bible by the toe”
3 y.o.: “Hashem’s house is pink with strawberries on it.”
me: “That’s an example of someone trying to be funny and failing.”
3rd grader: “And it’s not me for once!”
3rd grade boy, running out of the room on last day of Hebrew school: “I’m never coming back!”
3 y.o. boy: “I’m gonna buy all this.”
me: “How much does it cost?”
3 y.o. boy: “One hour.”
4 y.o. #1: “You got to be the mom a jillion hundred times!”
4 y.o. #2: “That’s not even a number.”
4 y.o. #1: “AHHH!!!!!”
4 y.o.: “Pink is my favorite color in the history of the world.”
4 y.o.: “She’s walking away without her baby. That’s not, like, safe.” - doll. baby DOLL.
me: “You have to go so bad?”
3 y.o.: “No, BADLY.”
3 y.o.: “I only have this much chips because it’s a bummer.”
3 y.o.: “Today I’m going to West Portal in a cage to go to the zoo in
5 y.o.: “I speak Ebrew because I go to
5 y.o.: “It looks like the T Jesus was on.”
2 y.o. boy: “Bubbe has to feed grandpa.”
2 y.o. boy on top of the structure addressing two girls: “I’m pooping!”
3 y.o. boy: “I’m not Jewish, I live in Burlingame.”
3 y.o.: “I’m much older than all of you.”
3 y.o. #1: “What’s inside here?” (teapot)
me: “Probably just air.”
3 y.o. #2: “No, there’s puffing.”
me: “Puffins, like the cereal?”
3 y.o. #2: “No, PUFFING, like what’s in HERE.” (stuffed animal)
me: “Stuffing?”
3 y.o. #2: “Yeah, stuffing!”
3 y.o.: “I one time had a boo boo but I don’t know where it is… it’s in my house.”
3 y.o.: “I wanna show everyone my pimples.”
4 y.o.: “I’m only going to look at you if you stop talking while you’re eating.”
3 y.o.: “Rebecca my favorite friend… and Ariel, too.” (she's referring to Ariel the Disney mermaid)
3 y.o. offended that I had the same favorite princess as her babysitter: “Who your favorite princess? … Belle?
3 y.o.:
3 y.o.: “Dora Splisplora!”
3 y.o.: “Uh-oh, I made a ‘steak!”
3 y.o. #1 asks 3 y.o. #2, who was “showering” in the closet: “How was your shower?”
3 y.o. #2: “Great!”
3 y.o.: “I don’t want Rebecca to eat my blanket.”
me: “I don’t think she will. Does she usually eat your blanket?”
3 y.o.: “No, only me.” She was either trying to say that either she only eats her blanket, or Rebecca only eats her, which she did try to do once.
3 y.o. immediately upon arriving in the morning: “I burped in my dad’s car.”
4 y.o.: “This is ‘I love you, Garbage.'” reading a tattoo that said "I <3 Recycling"
4 y.o.: *forced laugh* “That’s my freaky raff.”
4 y.o.: “Where is HaShem? Can we talk to HaShem?”
a very responsible 4 y.o.: “I’m a set up the chairs because you’re busy doing snack.”
4 y.o.: “I don’t know what he’s talking about. My dad’s kind of…”
4 y.o.: *wrapping hair around chin* “Fear the beard!”
4 y.o.: “I need to taste these. That’s why I’m taking a nipple.”
4 y.o.:“Where’s your DROID?”
4 y.o.: “Look at my killing truck!.. Actually, look at my baby station.”
4 y.o.: “Throw your guns at the shark!”
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