I blogged on your face.

My first blog must definitely be about blogging. I have a moral opposition to it. I don’t read any blogs, and I totally judge people who write them. In high school a few of my friends had LiveJournals, and they would write nasty things about each other, in an “anonymous” way. Let me paraphrase an example:

“I AM SO SICK OF BITCHES! SOME people who they know who they are are always TALKING SHIT about me and they better stop. Someone told me someone I thought was my friend said that I was a slut because I had sex with my boyfriend. Obv she is just jealous that I have a boyfriend and no guys ever like her.”

While I sympathize with teenage angst, and while I do think writing is a constructive way of dealing with one’s emotions or challenges, I do not support insulting the English language by publishing sloppily-constructed sentences on the Internet. Additionally, LiveJournal became a place of extreme passive-aggression, which is not healthy for young women.

After LiveJournal, people began making MySpace posts. A friend of mine made a MySpace for me, but I don’t check it or know how to use it, and it kind of embarrasses me. There was one MySpace blog that I read, and that was of someone I used to date. Yep. Blog #1: bring in the ex. Classy, I know. I used to read it when we were just starting to date. He posted all these emo blogs about his last girlfriend, mostly Alkaline Trio lyrics. At some point he wrote one about how he was interested in someone new (me), but he wasn’t sure if it would work out because I’m Jewish and he’s atheist, and we lived on opposite sides of the country during the school year. In retrospect, I should have taken that as a warning that he sometimes feels things that he doesn’t tell me. In fact, he never told me what he was feeling. I think the MySpace posts stopped after we started dating. Perhaps he wrote one about how great I was, but it’s possible I am making that up.

Finally, we have Facebook notes. Now, I love Facebook. Yeah, I said it. Don’t judge me. But Notes were one of the earlier applications that Facebook added—along with an application to upload lots of photos—and I thought it was an evil MySpacization which would lead to the fall of humanity. I still don’t use Facebook notes, but I often enjoy things that other people write.

All three of these forms of blogging are unacceptable to me. Besides that I think keeping a blog is pretentious, my main reason for not writing one is that I keep a diary. Yes, a diary. It’s made out of paper. I use a pen to write in it. I began writing one in January of 1994, when I was just about to turn 8. That first diary lasted 3 years. It’s mostly me cussing at my mom. I am now on my 23^rd diary. I don’t write every day, but I try to write about every day. Unfortunately, the more interesting things are for me, the busier I am, and the less time I have to write. And when I’m bored, I write a lot. It annoys me to read over them and go through pages and pages of me analyzing everything that happened in the day, and then find that I didn’t write for a week and come across a one-page entry that goes along the lines of: “Dear Diary, Sorry I haven’t written in so long! Things have been crazy! On Monday I cut school to drink with my friends. On Tuesday I had a math test that I didn’t study for but I got a copy from somewhere and memorized all the answers during lunch. Remember that guy I said I liked? Well on Thursday we ended up making out for like 3 hours in his car. Today my dad said I was grounded so we’ll see if I can go to the show on Saturday. It’s almost Shabbat I gotta go bye!”

So why, if I am against blogs and I already keep a diary, am I now starting a blog? Because I have a lot of words in my head. This is not going to be a document detailing boy drama or girl drama or my daily adventures or even feelings. I want this to be essays. My diary is largely stream-of-consciousness, and I want something where I can write coherently. Why not just write coherently in my Diary, you ask? Fuck you.