Israel and Palestine: Cognitive Dissonance Required

I can’t find the right Facebook group. I’m Jewish, I’m progressive, I love Israel, but I hate where it’s going politically and I think the Occupation needs to end. I’m in a group that purports to be Zionist and feminist, but they hedge away from anything relating to Palestine or the occupation. “Progressive Zionists of the California Democratic Party” has a damn essay as their mission statement, with a 9-point list of their affirmations and then a compare-and-contrast section of anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism. But I’m not a Democrat. I’m definitely not in the “Cool Jews” group whose picture is the Palestinian flag. 

All these spaces seem so fraught. People go bananas. I questioned some of the claims in an article critical of Linda Sarsour. Someone posted a quote on my comment saying “Please stop telling people to respect others’ opinions. That’s for things like “I don’t like coffee” not for “I don’t like black people.””  Hey, thanks for woking me up, bro. I said reasonable people could disagree about this, and a lady responded with “#nope.” Turns out that lady owns the studio I exercise at. She’s perfectly nice in person! When it comes to Israel-- People. Lose. Their. Shit.

This was around the time that people were on edge because Israel was protecting itself and then Hamas launched hella rockets in defense, or at least that’s how most people were describing it, depending on which “side” they’re on. But I don’t believe in the idea of sides anymore. Both “sides” can be right at the same time. It’s possible for someone to look at information from one “side” and justifiably condemn the other side. People speak from their truth. The predicament comes when you see both sides as humans who want to live in peace and dignity. For some reason it seems as though there is no room for moderation, balance, or reason. Well, actually, I think I know what the reason is.

In The War on Peace, Ronan Farrow explains how diplomacy prevents military involvement-- military intervention is an indication of a failure of diplomacy. It’s possible to make a case for Israel that is rooted in facts and history. It is also possible to make a case for Palestine that is rooted in facts and history. All of those facts can be true at the same time. However, a lot of the violence that has occurred in the Holy Land could have been avoided with effective diplomacy. No matter which “side” you take, we should agree that the diplomats have failed. I know many pro-Israel folks insist that they have no one to negotiate with, but that is nonsense. A skilled diplomat will be able to negotiate with anyone. Both “sides” seem to lack them.

It’s easy to lay blame at your enemy’s feet. In this conflict, you can keep going back and back to say who started it. I don’t think there is a point to that. Israeli and Palestinian leaders are relying on military solutions because they do not have the courage to negotiate an end to the conflict in which they won’t get everything they want. I know that one day there will be peace, even if I don’t yet know the leaders who will deliver it. 

Real people have experienced profound loss, pain, grief, terror, and suffering over the last few decades in the Holy Land. I want that to end. Israelis and Palestinians have put up with enough bullshit already, and I’m tired of arguing about whose shit stinks more. I want the people engaged in these conversations to keep their eyes on the prize: no more Occupation; no more violence; self-determination, safety, and dignity for everyone.

Me According to Facebook According to You

Thanks for voting, people! I greatly enjoyed laughing at you getting things wrong. Here are the results!

If you like The Ramones, Pink Floyd, The Cure, David Bowie, and The Sex Pistols, you might like: 77% said The Clash. Correct!

If you like Bangun Tidur, Bangun, Pulang, and Mandi, you might like: 50% said Thai food. Wrong! I have no idea what these things are, but they all came up because I like BREAKFAST.

If you like Heavy metal music and Punk rock, you might like: 50% said psychobilly. Wrong! I do like psychobilly, but these came up because I like SKA.

If you like Neil Gaiman, you might like: 40% said Amanda Palmer, 40% said Coraline. Close enough! "Many who like AMANDA PALMER like Neil Gaiman," which is good because they are dating and it's always so awkward when you don't like your favorite celebrity's boyfriend.

If you like Bon Iver, Fleet Foxes, Radiohead, and Animal Collective, you might like: 57% said Arcade Fire. Wrong! Fuck that, I like BEIRUT.

If you like Dinner and Sleep, you might like: 62% said sandwiches. Wrong! Only one person guessed correctly. BREAKFAST again has bested you.

If you liked Camping, Walking, Crocheting, Crafts, Painting, Cooking, Knitting, Reading, Country music, Scrapbooking, gardening, baking and CSI, you might like: 62% guessed sewing. Correct! For the record, I don't like camping or crafts; I can't crochet, paint, or knit; I can't cook or bake for shit; I do like a lot of country music, but I've never told anyone so clearly facebook read my mind; I hate CSI; and do people actually scrapbook? They don't just save a bunch of crap saying that they're going to use it in a book and then never do?

If you like Futurama, Family Guy, Scrubs, and Two and a Half Men, you might like: 50% said The Simpsons. Correct! But 37% said American Dad. People, no one likes that show. Come on.

If you like Social Distortion, you might like: 44% said The Clash. Wrong! The one person who said TIGER ARMY was a genius.

If you like HOPE not Hate, you might like: 44% said Israel/Palestine. Wrong! I do like Israel/Palestine, but this organization came up in response to liking BILLY BRAGG, who only one person voted for.

If you like Edward Scissorhands, you might like: 62% said Beetlejuice. Correct!

If you like The Notebook, you might like: 75% said Sex and the City. Fuck you! I've never seen The Notebook, and Sex and the City makes me throw up in my mouth. This one was suggested to me because I like MEAN GIRLS, which is a way more accurate/funny portrayal of female behavior.

If you like Traveling and Movies, you might like: 42% said concerts. Correct! I don't really like traveling or movies, but good job anyway.

And at the end of it all, I think two things are clear:
1. facebook suggestions were super nutty
2. democracy doesn't work

Me According to Facebook

At some point in our lives we ask ourselves “Who am I? Who do I want to be?” For a few months, facebook.com offered an array of suggestions for who you might be. Facebook featured a function called “Recommended pages” on the side of one’s News Feed which suggested things you might like according to what other people like who like the same things as you. It knows what you like because you’ve included it in your interests, activities, music, movies, and TV lists. But what if we could do this in reverse? Can you tell what I actually like based on what facebook thinks I might like? Vote in the polls to find out! The questions are all actual facebook suggestions based on the things I like, which are included in the possible answers. Answers will be posted in October after the polls close on 10/19. And don't go looking at my facebook profile, you would-be cheaters!