Judgement Day always picks eclectic bands to play with, and no exception was made at Bottom of the Hill on July 19th. Opening the show was The Definite Articles, who want to sound like The Decemberists. They have a cellist and two violinists, accompanied by a keyboard and drums. It was their first time playing in a venue as large at BoTH, and it showed. There was some awkward stage chatter and apologies, and the singer hasn’t really come into his own. I believe The Definite Articles will sound better with practice.
In between sets, a man who looked about 60 asked me to watch his stool. “I’m going to smoke a cigarette of marijuana,” he added, perhaps as an invitation. He was pleased that his stool had not been usurped in his absence. Oh,
The second band, Triclops!, seemed to please our stoned gentleman at first with their weird noises. Unfortunately, they soon devolved into screaming and crack-dancing. Crack-dancing is a form of dance which mimics the motions of a crack-head. It involves rotating the body like a robot, twitching the arms like an autistic person, and generally behaving as if heavily drugged. Mid-way through Triclops!, a fellow came up behind him and took his stool, which he had not sat on yet. A few minutes later he went to pull the stool out from under the bar and what the-- ! Gone?! His eyes popped out of their sockets and his eyebrows went clear past the top of his head. He turned his head around in such a fashion as to cause his neck to become twisted. His neck was stretched out by a foot after all his neck-craning. I pointed to the dastardly fellow who had committed the crime. The man pointed at him, then made a gesture of holding the stool under the bar, then shook his fist. The young rapscallion returned the missing item. Towards the end of the set our friend asked me if I liked the band. He said he didn’t like them very much. I was trying to avoid this man who lacked a full command of American personal space customs, and he picked up on it by commenting, ‘You’re very quiet, by the way.” Right.
I will admit that despite the fact that they sound horrible, Triclops! is made up of men in their 30’s, who seem to have a experience with being in a band. The lead vocalist even had some funny stage chatter. And I don’t say that lightly- he was legitimately funny. I have no desire to see them again, but I bet they’re great if you’re into “that kind of thing.”
Judgement Day has been around for 7 years (and I’ve been there since the beginning, I might brag.) It is comprised of two Patzner brothers who play violin and cello, and a drummer. Their songs are dark and morbid, and they tell stories. Anton on violin has toured with Bright Eyes and composed a movie score. Some serious stuff here! They have two acoustic CD’s, a full-length CD called Dark Opus, and a newly-released 7” vinyl. Don’t have a record player? Then you’re not cool enough to see Judgement Day.
Besides that they are totally bad ass, Judgement Day also has a talent for attracting a wide range of people to their shows. You’ll get anything from ugly-hair hipsters who rode in on fixie bikes to very large metal heads to small, nerdy Asians with long hair rocking out. Judgement Day can fit into any bill. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like them!
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